Male (Wardrobe) Oppression in the Workplace​

Here’s the deal…

We talk a lot about how women in the workplace get the short end of the stick – the glass ceiling, unwanted attention from coworkers, being given a hard time because of balancing work and family, etc.

What we don’t talk about is the ways men don’t have it so easy in the workplace. Dare I say it – reverse sexism?

(all of you who are about to get really offended can leave because this is a satirical blog. Duh. If you haven’t caught on by now, you should probably find another way to spend your time.)

This unspoken male oppression in the workplace has many sneaky signs, tiny little flags that wave quietly and say “Hey, you may be a man, but you still can’t do whatever you want at work. Even if you think you can.” Below are some choice examples of how we gentlemen have it rough and you ladies have some distinct home field advantages:

  1. Purses – Men get stuck only being able to carry the stuff that fits in our pockets. Women can carry whatever they want. Not enough space in your tiny clutch? Not a problem. You can swap out that tiny companion for another purse that’s big enough to hold a small child! All I have space for is my phone, my wallet, chapstick and my car keys. If I want to carry something else, I’m swapping out one of the regular residents of my pocket (#thestruggle). And don’t you DARE suggest what I know you’re thinking about – NO, a messenger bag is NOT an equitable option. How dare you.
  2. Skirts and Stuff – As a man, I don’t have any professional dress clothing bottoms that let me show off my calf muscles or let the breeze gently caress my legs. These puppies never get to breathe during my 9-5. Not that you’ll catch me wearing skirts, but it’s a public disservice to not allow the world to behold my pale calves. I work hard for those babies by staying indoors all day every day – shouldn’t I have an option that lets me strut my stuff?
  3. No One Ever Tells You That You Look Good –
    • Female Coworker – Did you get your hairs did over the weekend and it’s Monday?
      • “Oh, it looks CUTE!”
    • Female Coworker – Is that a new top you picked up?
      • “Wow it looks so good on you!! That’s definitely your color”
    • I get a new dress shirt, a haircut, new cologne and new glasses:
      • *silence*…
      • *sees the lady behind you has a new shade of lipstick*…
      • “Pam! Oh my gosh that lip shade looks amazing on you!”

Now don’t get me wrong – I know Cube City isn’t the place to boost my ego. I also know I’m not the most exciting or flashy office worker. But hey, I shower and put myself together in the morning because I take pride in my appearance too.

We’re trying, even if we might not look like it (some of us have different success levels with actually looking put together than others). So show us some love, otherwise we might stop trying. And THAT would be a scary thought indeed.

Michael Scott - It's a European Cut

Photo: NBC

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