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Help Desk: Ticket 1
Office Woe: Pencil-Related Injury
Dear Sir,
I had the unfortunate luck of tripping on the mat beneath my desk chair, falling over and piercing my abdomen with an upright pencil that had become lodged between my coffee mug and my morning muffin. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Punctured
Dear Punctured,
What a pokey predicament you find yourself in – my condolences for your injury and the untimely pun. Since proper care of the wound is a must, I would recommend using the hand sanitizer on your desk to sterilize the wound and then do your best to suture the wound shut using your Stapler. If your company orders the quality staples that they ought, they should have the same sterile qualities of surgical stainless steel staples.
I would also advise using this as an excuse to excuse yourself from any mandatory Wellness Events, if you so choose. After all, it’s one’s own obligation to find silver linings amongst the clouds.
Good luck and a swift recovery,
Help Desk
Life of an Office Worker 