Help Desk: Ticket 1

Welcome to Help Desk, the place where you can receive stellar advice from our team of office life expert(s)! Run out of tape for your tape dispenser? Have you fallen and pierced an organ on your pencil? Need to navigate treacherous social waters and need a stellar opening line? Help Desk can answer it all.

Want to submit your own Help Ticket (be it an actual situation or a hypothetical)? You can navigate to the Help Desk page from the home page, or click here to get started.

Help Desk: 
Ticket 1
Office Woe: Pencil-Related Injury

Dear Sir,

I had the unfortunate luck of tripping on the mat beneath my desk chair, falling over and piercing my abdomen with an upright pencil that had become lodged between my coffee mug and my morning muffin. What should I do?



Dear Punctured,

What a pokey predicament you find yourself in – my condolences for your injury and the untimely pun. Since proper care of the wound is a must, I would recommend using the hand sanitizer on your desk to sterilize the wound and then do your best to suture the wound shut using your Stapler. If your company orders the quality staples that they ought, they should have the same sterile qualities of surgical stainless steel staples.

I would also advise using this as an excuse to excuse yourself from any mandatory Wellness Events, if you so choose. After all, it’s one’s own obligation to find silver linings amongst the clouds.

Good luck and a swift recovery,

Help Desk


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s